A message channeled by Rev. Jeff Munnis on December 1, 2024 about our many parts and how to deal with difficult relationships while being grounded in our hearts.

Transcript 

There are many parts of us that are always present, and we forget those parts. We tend to think of ourselves as one being. And, we are one, but many-faceted. And so, we see and hear through all of those different facets. So, our perception through those different facets is according to that one that is most central in the moment. So, if we are feeling like a child in the moment, we tend to perceive like a child. If we’re stubborn and closed-minded in the moment, that’s another part of us. And these parts of us are often in conflict, where one part can, see but the other part cannot see. And when we feel these different parts of ourselves because at the same time they are present, we still feel that oneness, that unity of our own identity, we are frustrated by what we see or hear. We’re surprised by the things we do or say, and we think that we should be more consistent or more predictable or we think that we should be more controllable or that we should be more understandable to ourselves. But, when we can appreciate the diversity of our own being, we can begin to appreciate the fullness of our identity. And the parts of us that can seem to be weak can become strong, and the parts that seem to be so far away from us that we reach for can become so close.

It’s important for us to remember these many parts of us in order to understand the fullness of our expression. So that when we express something like hurt, or when we express something like joy, we can understand how both can be present. Or when we express something like anger, at the same time a part of us yearns for peace. Again, we can understand ourselves better. But even though there are these many parts of us, there is also that part of us that’s like a witness. A part of us that can see all of these aspects of our being—all of the aspects that roll up into one identity. Sometimes when we wish for unity or union with God, we’re actually asking ourselves to bring everything into alignment with that one part of ourself that’s like a witness. And when we bring all of that together into union, where we align ourselves and connect, then there is a different kind of wisdom that we can express and feel inside of ourselves. Something that we can call on. It’s like having all the experiences of the world and the variety of those experiences informing that part of us that has the greatest understanding, so that no matter what we encounter form that point forward, we have the wisdom of our knowledge and the wisdom of our experience joined together. If we can see this part of ourselves, we can appreciate those parts that sometimes seem unruly or difficult. We can appreciate those parts of ourselves that we see as the cause of our uncontrolled behavior or behavior that we judge in ourselves. And if we can get to that witnessing place, we can begin to appreciate the strength or the beauty or the gift that that newly discovered part of ourselves reveals. When Jesus spoke about becoming like a child, he was asking us to do something that he felt would be very natural to us because we would understand that we have a childlike part of us that’s available. When he’s asks us to have faith, he’s speaking knowing that we have an identity that is closely linked to our faith. And when he asks us to love, he is calling on a part of us that can respond with love in any situation.

So, these many selves and the many lives that we have that live within us all fulfill a purpose. Even those that seem so dark and that have pain that we associate with that identity or the memories that are associated with that identity.

But there is this time of year, a sense of birth, and not just the birth of the child part of us, but a sense of the birth of something special and different, something that is born of spirit but at the same time so firmly grounded spiritually. And when we say grounded, we mean that that spirituality has a way of functioning even in a practical way in the material dimension of our lives, even though it’s coming from the spiritual dimension of our lives. When we are in that same alignment that I mentioned earlier, the spirit in this grounding are part of that alignment, part of that place where wisdom comes to us in a very natural way. It’s as if our heart can speak in the moment from a place of compassion, a place of knowledge—both at the same time. It’s possible for our intellect to be of service to this part of ourselves, but the intellect is less likely to serve our needs if it’s not connected to the heart.

There is a hierarchy that can occur in that alignment that I’m speaking of, and that alignment is that the heart is in the superior position, meaning that the knowledge that comes, meaning that the experience that we have, when it is experienced from the heart or interpreted from the heart, the information and the knowledge can be used by the intellect with compassion and kindness. So, it is possible for us, even when we are conceptualizing something, or even when we are trying to parse out all of the details of what we see in the world, if we can begin with the heart, then the work of the intellect is much easier, and it’s much more likely to follow the wisdom that is part of our being. Without being anchored in the heart, the intellect can begin its rational process from just about any point of departure, but anchored in the heart, we know that the point of departure is love.

So, in speaking of this combination of the heart and the intellect, this is part of how that spirit or spiritually is grounded—that the heart comes first, the intellect proceeds from love, and the combination of those are what become the practical spirituality of a person living in the material world and having material experiences. It’s also important for us to remember that when we cannot find that place in our heart, that place of love, that place of kindness and compassion, in order to reorient ourselves, we call on the grace that we know we have and have been freely given. When it feels like it’s impossible to love, when it feels like it’s impossible to use our will or to even use our mind and our processes in a very simplistic step-by-step way, when we feel totally incapable, this is the moment when we can ask for grace to come. And in that grace, we can anticipate a change that can come. In that grace that we receive as a gift is the same love from God that is part of the creation of our being. And the depth of this love, it is like grounding ourselves in all of existence. It is the source of our existence. And so, the power of that grace, the power of that source is ours if we can remember it in those moments when it feels the most like we don’t have it. If we look at it in a reactive way or if we come to it in a reactive way, it's hard for us to access that because we tend to react in ways that are denial or aversion, or if we feel surprise and shock, we turn away from what approaches us. But if we’re not reactive and we’re in that grace, then that’s what opens the door for the path through the experience that we’re having. So if we are in pain or if we are suffering in some way, when we ask for that grace where we accept our limitation, where we give up control, and we turn ourselves over to that grace, we’ll be in the kind of alignment where we can see that the door in front of us is open, that it become the direct path through our pain, and only by going through that pain or suffering, do we truly pass through to the other side of that same suffering and pain. When I say that we pass through, I don’t mean that the pain necessarily stops or that the suffering is any less present. But what happens is that there is a different part of us that sees and experiences the suffering in such a way that it brings awareness; that it brings us into the present; that it brings us into a place of understanding that we have everything we need in the moment, and that we are open in that moment for whatever help will come to us that will free us or release us from whatever burden we have that has contributed to our suffering. That grace releases the burden of any ownership that we might have. That grace releases any sense of accountability and responsibility that is out of proportion to our need or our understanding. It brings perspective. It responds to our wisdom, our ability to take a small step that moves us away from the suffering into an experience that is the warmth we find in the love of God.

The value of the process that I have described is not just traveling through suffering or difficult times, through pain, but it is also valuable to us in times of our need to make a decision or find direction. That if we bring that same grace, that same alignment, that same response from our heart, first, to the problem that we are working on, it brings with it a different kind of creativity, a different kind of flexibility, but also the possibility and potential of the things that we can’t see when we are not in a receptive mode. That receptivity that we want, that acceptance that we want comes at the same time as we accept that grace.

This is one of the reasons that grace is an unconditional gift. If God’s love and grace were conditional, meaning it had requirements, it would feel so cruel to us to be at a point of suffering, to know that we had to fulfill some task that might be unknown to us in order to receive that grace. So, this grace is in essence free. It is a form of freedom. It is a form of love, a form of help and compassion. It’s a form of energy and spirit that can grow inside of us to whatever level we need in the moment to help us respond, to be proactive, to be sensitive and aware.

Another way of describing this space or this location within us, this location of love, is to say that this is the place of loving God and loving truth. Because it is that creative source that also becomes the source of loving our neighbor and loving ourselves. It’s also in its strongest form, the love of our enemies. And again, the path that I have described, this hierarchy where the heart takes precedence over the intellect, this place where there is an acceptance of grace, where there is forgiveness, where there is perspective and understanding—all of these things joined together—these are the source of the energy or the love that it takes to love those we feel have harmed us or can harm us, who we feel are in conflict with us or have done violence to us, it’s from this place of grace that we’re able to love, and if necessary, forgive. 

Someone has asked inside of themselves about forgiving themselves, and that comes from the same place of grace within us where we forgive ourselves for those things that we view as transgressions, either against love or against God or a neighbor or a friend, all of it comes—the forgiveness, the grace—it comes from that place of alignment that begins in the heart. You might say that it’s the same path of love, whether it be for ourselves or for others.

And the answer is also, yes, that this is the very process that clears away karma, that clears away old patterns, old scripts that interfere with our ability to live fully with love.

It would be easier if y’all would ask these out loud.

(D.G. - How do you forgive someone who doesn’t know they hurt you?) It’s still going to come from that same place of accepting God’s grace for yourself, knowing that you can call on that for your own suffering or for your own hurt. And if you’re the one that is hurt, you’re the one in need of the grace. And then beyond that, it is trust that your giving of that grace or that forgiveness to another will eventually come to their awareness and their attention in a way that will serve them. At that point, it may no longer have anything to do with you. (Thank you.)

This is also something that’s very powerful when there is someone in our lives that refuses to hear us or understand us. Where there’s someone that persists in a belief about us despite our own best effort to be different or to show that we’re different or to show that we have a different value or perspective on something. That this grace is what prepares the ground between you for both of you to pass over that ground to a place of better understanding and love, and hopefully they begin to see soon. They understand you and you understand them, and it takes away the tension or the expectation in the relationship. It’s the unexamined expectations in most relationships that cause the most trouble. The idea that someone other than yourself will give you whatever you need to be fulfilled is a source of a lot of expectations.

(M.M. – When you talk about having unexamined expectations, and they’re causing you suffering, when you do become aware of your expectations of this person, and that they aren’t capable of meeting your expectations, how would you go about having peace?)

The peace in the relationship would come when you release them from the expectation, meaning that there’s no longer a requirement necessary for them to receive your care or your reaction to them, whatever it is—positive or negative. So, you’ve released them. So that should take away some of the tension, an then, the examination of your own expectation, what is the source of that? Finding that place within yourself that realizes that you’ve asked for something that you might need to receive from yourself or from a different source. And, when you release yourself from that expectation, and when the other person, your partner or whoever you’re in relationship with is released, in giving yourselves that grace that I’ve been speaking about, what happens is it transforms into a kind of curiosity and anticipation of something that’s good, rather than something that is a failure because it’s not being met. So, the curiosity and the anticipation allows for a wider range of fulfillment. There’s more things that could happen to meet whatever the need is that exists between both of you. We might need to talk about that more to kind of parse that out a bit, but do you understand what’s been said? (Yes, thank you.)

That curiosity and that anticipation where there’s not an expected outcome allows the best possible outcome to emerge, an outcome that you haven’t considered or an outcome that might be a greater gift.

(S.G. – It feels also like you move more into that place of witnessing as well, when you’re in that. They sort of are symbiotic—the curiosity and the witnessing. I don’t’ know if one necessarily precedes the other. Does anyone else feel like that’s related?)

There is a witnessing and with the witnessing, there is also at an even higher level, when you see the ability to listen, and hear the fullness of what the other is asking you to understand. And I know that we want to be understood too, and there’s a need for us to be understood in the same way, but the little bit of paradox that exists in this circumstance comes about because when you understand that you need to listen to the other person, you become the person with greater awareness. And in the relationship, the person with greater awareness has greater responsibility. And so, even though you may have a desire to be understood that is important to the relationship, it’s by the subordination of your need to the need of a person with less awareness, that opens up the possibility of your need being met. Do you see? (Yes.) And it’s all because you come from the place of a greater understanding of the relationship. A greater understanding of the awareness that is necessary to go froward. That’s the responsibility that comes with having more. And it’s the source of the saying from Jesus that those who have more, more will be expected of them. This is exactly the kind of spiritual circumstance that exists. It’s also very rewarding, but you have to practice it for the reward to come.